30 Day Blog Challenge Day 9

Day 9: What’s in your bag/wallet

I don’t really carry a purse anymore so this is what’s in my wallet. It’s fairly organized surprisingly but I just got it for Christmas. I just have my cards which are mostly memories than ways of payment.

The second compartment of my wallet, I have some cash, receipts, a dinosaur that I got from the Cabazon dinosaur museum and a ticket from when my husband and I started “talking.” I wish it could been messier to have more of a story but I am trying to declutter my life.

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30 Day Blog Challenge Day 8

Day 8: Five Current Goals

1. Write Everyday!

I’ve been trying to do this forever but I think it’s really important for me. I would like something published in my life and I really need to clean up my writing if that is ever going to happen. So I need to practice.

2. Read Everyday

This largely has to do with my writing but I also have a thirst for knowledge. I just love being a smart ass though.

3. Pay my debts

I have come to the conclusion I don’t need much to live and be happy. I just want to pay all the debts I have. Probably save to build my own home and be good for the rest of my life working small part time jobs never having to worry that I’m not going to make rent or credit card bills and etc. My husband and I even talked about getting burner phones to get rid of our phone bills.

4. Save

I mentioned that my husband and I want to take a long ass trip for three months and travel all across America. The past few months have been rough though, so we haven’t talked about it much. We have been in survival mode but since I have a job it should be a lot easier to save but my husband and I love to splurge from time to time but I think we have gotten better.

5. Buy a laptop!

I think this one is the most underrated but it’s necessary. If I ever want to go back to school, I need a laptop. It would be very beneficial to my writing and etc. I think I should be able to do this next month hopefully!

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 6

Day 6: What are you afraid of?

I’ve always been afraid of heights. I don’t know what it is but I hate being up high. I even went skydiving to get over this fear and let me tell you it didn’t work.

On a sad existential type of afraid tip, I’m scared of getting a divorce or losing my husband. No one will understand how much I love my husband and if things were to go south, I would completely lose it. Maybe that not healthy but he’s the greatest friend I have ever had, the greatest lover, my ride or die. This shit I feel is serious and I NEVER thought I would ever feel this way.

Enough with the cornball shit, I’m so scared of failing that I don’t even challenge myself and I hate it. I mean that also falls along the line that I’m scared to be super poor. Like I am poor don’t get me wrong but I have a very supporting family, always a place to stay and always something to eat. I pay my bills on time. I get to do nice things sometimes. I know a lot of people don’t have that support system but I also don’t like depending on people. It’s a stupid thing to do. So I take the easiest route, the stress free route and it’s honestly stupid but it’s hard. Hard to break out of comfort.

30 Day Challenge Day 4

Day 4- Your Dream Job

You know I really hate this question because I have a lot of passions. I would say my number one is writing. I have been in a funk lately though.

I would like to write a book in my life. I mean I actually have when I was a kid on a old ass computer. Who knows where that computer is now but I would like to be published. I could die a happy women.

Another possible dream job is I would love to be a food blogger. It just takes a lot of time and patience that seems to run thin at times. I love to cook but sometimes I need a lot of motivation to do it.

So I guess short answer would be a writer. Here’s some photos of me making fresh pasta earlier today and follow me on Instagram at be_your_own_3am to watch more of my Instagram stories.

30 Day Challenge Day 3

I just want to make an announcement that I won’t be writing Mondays and Tuesday’s. It’s my husband’s days off and I never really see him because he works long hours. As much as I love writing and working on this blog, our relationship is a top priority.

Anyway back to the challenge! Day 3 is what is my favorite quote. This is hard because I’m a quote whore to be honest.

“Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea.”

It’s from one of my favorite movies from Y Tu Mamá También. For me how I took the quote is live. We spend most of our time worrying. At least I do and at the end of the day that shit doesn’t matter just live your life. (I’m a pseudo intellectual)

30 Day Challenge Day 2

Day 2- 20 Facts About You!

Fact 1: I’m married!

This is a really big one! I’m twenty five but people think I’m super dooper young and can’t believe I married. Also earlier in my life I was a bit slutty (no regrets!) so it came to a shock to my family and friends. I just know my husband is the one and that’s that on that!

Fact 2: I’m half black and half Salvadoran.

I will mention this a lot (like just my last post) but my identity is super important to me. It’s something I have struggled with my whole entire life and I have finally came to terms with.

Fact 3: I’m super into politics.

I have to talk about politics probably at least once a day. My politics views are far left and most link up with Marxist Leninist views.

Fact 4: I like weed…. like a lot.

It’s honestly like a problem.

Fact 5: I live in California

Although I really do want to move out of California, it’s been a blessing. California is really the best state. I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up!

Fact 6: I went to college in San Francisco.

I went to SFSU for two years and then dropped out. San Francisco is probably where most of my leftist views come from.

Fact 7: I’m a housewife

I’m the worse housewife of all time but so far it’s been a good time. I use to work at a Hardware store Lowes but it got overwhelming and my mental health was not in a good place at all.

Fact 8: My favorite band is The Radio Dept.

I use to be really into music. I still am but mostly listen to a lot of oldies and indie in the early 2010’s.

Fact 9: I have two pugs.

Stitch and Daisy are my whole entire world.

Fact 10: I use to be a webcam girl.

I don’t have photos of that but I did it for a good two months here and there. My profile is still out there somewhere in the inter web. Hell I’m thinking about doing it again but sex work is not fucking easy.

Fact 11: I won a writing competition in elementary school.

I’m still shook about it and makes me think I can make it as a writer although I never entered a writing contest after that.

Fact 12: I have a brother

He’s leaving to the military in a matter of two weeks. He’s my best friend.

Fact 13: My biggest dream is to move to France.

This is weird to say considering the political climate but I love France and I really wish I could move there. I say if I ever get divorced the first thing I’m going to do is try to move to France.

Fact 14: My ultimate celebrity crush is Hasan Piker.

I think celebrities are stupid and pop culture is fucking stupid but I love love him.

Fact 15: I’m an atheist.

I’m not super hard core about it but I really don’t believe in a God. I kinda fuck with the idea of reincarnation but other than that I have no sense of spirituality and it’s super hard to let any sort of spirituality in my life for some reason. I grew up Christian, I have pagan friends, and I was fucking a guy that was into sacred geometry and crystals but nothing. I still believe in nothing.

Fact 16: I’m a introvert.

I like to talk and I could blab on forever. I’m not shy but I really don’t like interacting a lot. I keep to myself. Talking to people really fucking drains me and I usually need a drink to be myself around people. It’s terrible.

Fact 17: I suffer from anxiety and depression.

My anxiety has definitely gotten better over the years but depression still be holding on here and there. I have seen therapist and really I just smoke weed to tune out. I was officially diagnosed in 2015 after getting hit by a car.

Fact 18: I don’t know how to swim

Is this really surprising? (I think I’m being racist to myself) Another fact unrelated is I love dark humor and satire.

Fact 19: I don’t know how to drive.

Yeah living in Southern California without a license and car has been a struggle. I’ll get there one day. I have a huge phobia for driving which I truly don’t understand much.

Fact 20: Im obsessed with the show Sex and The City.

I probably designed my early 20’s on this show (Don’t do that) .