Day 9: What’s in your bag/wallet
I don’t really carry a purse anymore so this is what’s in my wallet. It’s fairly organized surprisingly but I just got it for Christmas. I just have my cards which are mostly memories than ways of payment.
The second compartment of my wallet, I have some cash, receipts, a dinosaur that I got from the Cabazon dinosaur museum and a ticket from when my husband and I started “talking.” I wish it could been messier to have more of a story but I am trying to declutter my life.
Day 8: Five Current Goals
1. Write Everyday!
I’ve been trying to do this forever but I think it’s really important for me. I would like something published in my life and I really need to clean up my writing if that is ever going to happen. So I need to practice.
2. Read Everyday
This largely has to do with my writing but I also have a thirst for knowledge. I just love being a smart ass though.
3. Pay my debts
I have come to the conclusion I don’t need much to live and be happy. I just want to pay all the debts I have. Probably save to build my own home and be good for the rest of my life working small part time jobs never having to worry that I’m not going to make rent or credit card bills and etc. My husband and I even talked about getting burner phones to get rid of our phone bills.
I mentioned that my husband and I want to take a long ass trip for three months and travel all across America. The past few months have been rough though, so we haven’t talked about it much. We have been in survival mode but since I have a job it should be a lot easier to save but my husband and I love to splurge from time to time but I think we have gotten better.
5. Buy a laptop!
I think this one is the most underrated but it’s necessary. If I ever want to go back to school, I need a laptop. It would be very beneficial to my writing and etc. I think I should be able to do this next month hopefully!
Okay I do want to say I’m grateful to have a job. I guess something that makes me more of a productive human being in society but I’m just not vibing with a lot of the people there. Surprisingly I didn’t have one rude customer. I mean I do have those customers who won’t acknowledge me but I don’t care about that anymore. I do have more patience than I did at Lowes which is remarkable.
I did have a manager argue with me in front of customer. Even after she left the customer was like wow she was rude. Like I’m day two on a job and I’m already being berated for something she was wrong about. She did come to apologize but it doesn’t excuse the fact she wasn’t professional. How are you a part of management but don’t know how to speak to employees without demeaning them?
I got to talk to one of the cashiers for a little bit. She was telling me about her past jobs. She also told me you have to work three years at this store before you get paid vacation. Like what the fuck? I’m on the privilege side of this. I can take a non paid vacation but people who work there for survival have to lose their sanity for three years before they can have an extended vacation? Give me a fucking break.
I’m really trying to be at ease because it’s an easy job. No stress at all really but it makes me mad that businesses really take advantage of people and their labor. The owner loves to say well we are a small mom and pop shop who takes care of their employees. This is a blatant lie and if you can’t afford to pay your employees benefits and a livable wage, you either don’t need employees or you don’t deserve to be in business. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
Day 7: What Are your five favorite songs?
This is a tough one but I was able to put together a list.
1. Pet Grief by The Radio Dept.
2. All Falls Down by Kanye West
3. Smack A Bitch by Rico Nasty
4. Silver Soul by Beach House
5. Ashamed by Deer Tick
Day 6: What are you afraid of?
I’ve always been afraid of heights. I don’t know what it is but I hate being up high. I even went skydiving to get over this fear and let me tell you it didn’t work.
On a sad existential type of afraid tip, I’m scared of getting a divorce or losing my husband. No one will understand how much I love my husband and if things were to go south, I would completely lose it. Maybe that not healthy but he’s the greatest friend I have ever had, the greatest lover, my ride or die. This shit I feel is serious and I NEVER thought I would ever feel this way.
Enough with the cornball shit, I’m so scared of failing that I don’t even challenge myself and I hate it. I mean that also falls along the line that I’m scared to be super poor. Like I am poor don’t get me wrong but I have a very supporting family, always a place to stay and always something to eat. I pay my bills on time. I get to do nice things sometimes. I know a lot of people don’t have that support system but I also don’t like depending on people. It’s a stupid thing to do. So I take the easiest route, the stress free route and it’s honestly stupid but it’s hard. Hard to break out of comfort.
So in my last post I mentioned that I got a new job. It’s different than my last two jobs which were working as a waitress and a hardware store. I’m now working in a grocery store!
The odd thing is that I’ve always wanted to work at a grocery store. I think it had to do with the grocery strike and everyone saying you could make $16 hour and that was in the early 2000s! I found out soon enough this is no longer true.
Anyway the first day wasn’t too bad. I’m a little upset because I really didn’t want to work full time and they gave me full time. My back hurts. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on my feet all the time especially standing still. It’s fast paced, the time flies. I do like that. I also love the short distance home. I got to walk my dogs today for my lunch!
Anyway there is one guy there (Coworker) that is fucking hilarious. I love him already. He was helping me bag some groceries for some lady. She bought some candles and he was talking to her about them. Somehow the conversation lead to sex and she was telling him it feels good when you pour wax on your body. People in the wild.
I want to work here for a little bit because extra money would be cool. I want to buy a nice camera and a laptop then I’ll be unstoppable. (Just kidding but really) I know though this job will kill me if I work here longer than a year.
Sorry I haven’t written in so long. There really aren’t any excuses but these past few days have been overwhelming. I have some good news! I have actually landed a job and it’s a five minute walk from home so it’s super cool and convenient but being a housewife was cool while it lasted.
Anyway back to the prompt which day five is my proudest moment would be moving to San Francisco. It was a time I was truly independent and did something for myself. San Francisco is largely the reason for the person I am today and I’m proud of that. I’m proud of how empathetic I am. I’m proud of how more aware I am. I’m proud to know no matter how much pain and suffering I will go through, I will make it out stronger.