Second Day At The Job

Okay I do want to say I’m grateful to have a job. I guess something that makes me more of a productive human being in society but I’m just not vibing with a lot of the people there. Surprisingly I didn’t have one rude customer. I mean I do have those customers who won’t acknowledge me but I don’t care about that anymore. I do have more patience than I did at Lowes which is remarkable.

I did have a manager argue with me in front of customer. Even after she left the customer was like wow she was rude. Like I’m day two on a job and I’m already being berated for something she was wrong about. She did come to apologize but it doesn’t excuse the fact she wasn’t professional. How are you a part of management but don’t know how to speak to employees without demeaning them?

I got to talk to one of the cashiers for a little bit. She was telling me about her past jobs. She also told me you have to work three years at this store before you get paid vacation. Like what the fuck? I’m on the privilege side of this. I can take a non paid vacation but people who work there for survival have to lose their sanity for three years before they can have an extended vacation? Give me a fucking break.

I’m really trying to be at ease because it’s an easy job. No stress at all really but it makes me mad that businesses really take advantage of people and their labor. The owner loves to say well we are a small mom and pop shop who takes care of their employees. This is a blatant lie and if you can’t afford to pay your employees benefits and a livable wage, you either don’t need employees or you don’t deserve to be in business. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.


Phoenix Arizona

  • I went to Phoenix Arizona this weekend and I never thought I would love it so much. I did have a friend over a year ago tell me that it was a booming city. It’s so cute but so hot. Jaime and I decided it’s our new vacation spot. (Arizona in general)
  • I think I just like the desert aesthetic. I love Vegas, Arizona, Joshua Tree and Palm Springs.
  • I think I only really like these cities because the cost of living is cheap and there seems to be more of a community feeling and also A LOT of art. (Although were we live definitely has a good community, it’s expensive, racist and not a whole lot of art action out here)
  • We stayed in the cutest tiny home in Phoenix and I think it almost convince Jaime to jump on that tiny home train.
  • I somehow manage to maintain my sanity and composure with Jaime’s family. They are still upset about the elopement and I’m still upset too. Jaime made me feel a little better when he said he was kinda mad too.
  • I need another job desperately. I don’t want to go to school unless that’s all I have to do. Yes, it’s inspiring when you hear those stories of people who go to work full time and go to school full time and even have kids and still manage to get their degree but that’s not a life I want to live. My job pays the bills and I still have money to play around with. Not as much as I like but my life is great. It really is. I just hate the management and company morale of my job.
  • I say this all the time but I want to focus more on doing art and such but seriously. It’s been a long time since I focused on myself. Yes I just got married but at the end of the day we are still two separate people and I need to keep doing things I love.
  • I need to stop smoking weed because it’s starting to become a problem (with finding a job) I don’t know a better way to control my anxiety and anger though.
  • Being married is weird. Everything still feels the same just more sex and I have a different last name.
  • I really wish I could start my own business but I honestly don’t know where to start. I am really tired of working for other people. I need to do some research.
  • Follow me on Instagram: be_your_own_3am

I’m drunk 

My boyfriend and I are regulars at a local wing place. We get along with the bartenders on a lower aquatinted level. An other bartender had walked, I wasn’t aware she quit. The other bartender commented that she got a REAL career. It made me sad.

I had just listen to this podcast by NPR about getting unstuck. That a lot of us are unhappy with our jobs and lives and not doing what makes us happy for numerous things no for scene opportunities or money opportunities, quote on quote getting stuck. That we aren’t willing to struggle or compromise for our dreams.

I’ve been guilty of this most of my life. Every time I had a friend get a job out of the customer service field I would say “she got a real girl job!” I’m disappointed I ever said that.

I told myself recently that I would write everyday, save for little workshops and next year apply for Fafsa and do school online, it will be my first year as a non dependent. Hello 25!!!

 As of recently my job doesn’t make me unhappy and it pays the bill. I can survive. It’s not my dream but I’m working on that and it’s fine. It may take awhile but it’s fine at least I’m trying.

I just wished everyone believed that.

Hey Miss. Home Decor: A Poem about My New Job (Daily Prompt: Elevate)



Faux Wood












Side to Side





Who knew there was so many fucking options for blinds?

Gone But Not Forgotten

There are a few points in my life that I know changed me drastically and my three years working at Joe’s Crab Shack in San Francisco was for sure the beginning on the change into adulthood. 

Every once in awhile I like to check yelp reviews for it because the place was truly fucking awful. Yesterday I check to see that they had closed down. 

I had a weird emotionally reaction I can’t explain. It’s been years since I worked there but I have a connection to that place almost like a child with a blanket. 

Before I got hired I was a pretty sheltered person, pretty shy. I had been in San Francisco for about six months and hadn’t managed to make one friend. My roommates hated my guts and I hated theirs. I was running out of money quickly. I need to find a job and fast. I happen to get a interview and got hired on the spot.

At first it was really hard. Customers suck and for awhile I didn’t like any of my coworkers. I didn’t talk to anyone really for a few months until this guy Gio make it hard not to talk. I invited him to a Dillion Francis show at EPR and that was it, I was in. 

One simple post won’t explain the shit that happened in that restaurant. I could write a pretty entertaining book of everything I experienced. 

Just know I fell in love there, I’ve cried there, emotionally broke down, wanted to fucking fight someone there, done multiply drugs, danced, and the list goes on.

The people I worked with are some twisted fucked up family but I will love them till the day I die. They are a huge staple of who I am now and I love myself and how they helped me along the way.